Rambles

I write & shoot (photographs) occasionally

Month: October, 2013

Faith

I feel this gentle assurance

A comforting confidence

That is resting softly on my shoulders

Not a burden

But a reassurance

That even if the world turns its back against me

And everything in my life goes wrong

He will still be there

Looking over me always

I have faith

In me

In him

The Stars of Night

With my crayon

I coloured in the night sky

Dark and beautiful 

A royal midnight blue

And when that was complete

I took out my silver crayon

And filled the spaces in between

Patches in the sky

Where the stars would live

Eventually

The glittering stars filled every corner of the sky

And I was pleased

Until I realised

That the silver crayon was no more

All that was left of it

Was silver dust that had already been scattered across the sky

And the magic could not ever

Be created anymore

 

Broken

I feel

This indescribable pain

Is it that a hole

Has been ripped in my heart

That somehow continues to beat

In two separate parts

 

The blood

That runs through my veins

Has been shrouded in neglect

And yet

It continues to sustain me

 

This system 

That gives me life

In a body so broken

In wounds so open

 

Nothing’s Alright

Hushed conversations

Under dim streetlights

Shuffling of feet

A distant surround

 

Tears start to fall

Her distress plunges to the floor

With the tiniest ripple of sound

That was heard only by the ground

And she cried and cried and cried

Her sobs lost

To the noises of the city night

It wasn’t

It wasn’t the rain

It was her tears

 

It wasn’t a storm

It was her fears

 

It wasn’t the snow

It was her story

Retold

As she lay low

Rocked herself to oblivion

In the freezing cold

it’s raining tears today

I smell an oncoming rain

The slightly musty

Yet oddly refreshing scent

Hangs in the air like a thick cloud

 

I smell the tears

Of a crestfallen population

The liquid sorrow of thousands who have wept

Drift in the wind now

With no consolation 

As they threaten to fall again

 

The rain shoots from the sky

Hitting the ground with a heavy patter

The sound of finality

As it ricochets off the floor

And disintegrates into a misty emptiness

 

 

 

 

Weather me down

On cold nights

I shiver in the frigid air

Warm myself with memories of your embrace

So long ago

In a different place

 

On humid nights

I struggle to break free

From the suffocating loneliness

Burning memories that creep into my mind

Branding my thoughts of you into time

 

On every other night

I wait for you

To come back

But you never do

Emotionless

Most of the time, I can distinguish my emotions. It is sort of like a mindmap: I can branch out into happiness, sadness, anger, fear, amongst others.

But there are times where I get very confused, because I can’t feel anything. There’s just this hollow, draining feeling inside, and I don’t know  to make sense of it. I really don’t.

The emotion of nothingness. Maybe something like that exists. When you are so exhausted by everything happening around, so tired of living the way you do. Living like you are a dead clockwork toy, the same routine over and over with no apparent aim; nothing definite. When everything is just a possibility, and you are acutely aware that in the end, all your efforts may spiral down to nothing.

Maybe that’s it. The feeling of nothingness.

 

Liquid Vacuum

Is this how space would sound like

I wonder

In the water

When my breath is cut off

I hear only the dull of my heart

The sharp sound of emptiness

And moving water

I experience the sweet feeling of solitary paradise

A world away from the world

A world where the noise is silenced

Where my thoughts

Can exist in perfect clarity