forgetting to remember
It scares me how little time it takes to forget someone. Someone who has painstakingly woven herself into the fabric of your daily life, and now with each passing day and absence she is unravelling from the connections that she has sacrificed so much to form. When I try to remember her now, what comes to mind first is no longer her larger-than-life smile, but the ghost of her happiness lingering in her dead-steady eyes on the staircase that last day I saw her, the vulnerability that cracked her to break down and open into a smile again. In midst of absence our lives still go on; the class feels a little empty but in a little while the sense of unwanted familiarity will start to sink in again as it has before.