aftermath: realisations

by mandaceehb

What set in after the ‘it’s finally over’ relief wasn’t a bursting ecstasy, but a sort of numbness that stood its ground in me and refused to budge. I guess it wasn’t completely able to dispel the (mental) exhaustion even when I exited the exam hall with throngs of excited chatter, but I am truly glad that it’s temporarily over.

If there’s anything good that came out of this, it is that I will now appreciate the ‘normal’ days more. Days packed with lessons streaming to and fro classrooms and lecture halls- deemed tiring only two weeks ago, but now I know better and hopefully, I can treat the new term with a more positive attitude.

One thing I’ve also grown to appreciate is time. This might sound like a no-brainer but such things just escape you when you’re resentful of everything. It is easy to slip into believing that a life packed with friends and excitement and social activity is a fulfilling life, but what has become so lovely is the luxury of time itself; seconds and minutes ticking by in solitude, not doing anything but feeling at peace and more in touch with the world. Time itself is a blessing: I can go on long bus rides staring out at the streets, people all around me: the man in a striped shirt on the road flagging down a taxi, the old man crossing the road on some sort of powered scooter. I can stare at the clouds, drifting slowly as the world drifts by, merging together into larger masses as the noise fades away around me. Doing nothing makes me feel happy, at peace, instead of guilty for letting aimless minutes run by. For this much I am grateful.

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