lessons from my stint as an amateur photographer on carousell
how it happens:
- your friend mentions in passing conversation that she hired a videographer off carousell, a web-based consumer marketplace, to film her project. this strikes you as fairly unconventional (in your limited circle) and thus highly intriguing. he was okay, she says, except that he couldn’t figure out how to switch on the standing lights.
- weeks pass. a video pops up on your youtube explore page, where an earnest american teenager breaks down how she kickstarted a thriving photography business in high school. you weigh your options for about two seconds. for some reason you have been feeling particularly poor recently, likely because you are a broke university student and you always feel this way. you watch the 20-minute video, deciding it couldn’t hurt.
- momentarily electrified by someone else’s drive and success, you decide to put up a listing as a one-woman business of sorts, deciding it couldn’t hurt.
- could that be… your first enquiry!!??!! (cue internal screaming)
somewhere along my 22 years on this earth, i guess i’ve registered that i have a habit of making impulsive decisions in the heat of the moment. i love the thrill of throwing caution to the wind for a few calculated moments in my otherwise planned life. yet, “student photographer for hire” is a listing i never thought i’d put up. which in retrospect, is probably why the possibility excited me so.
i remember my exhilaration upon booking my first project. it was a wedding solemnisation that was meant to happen this may. even though i wasn’t quite experienced enough by my own standards, the couple took a chance on me, and added me to a whatsapp chat group where we said we could meet up for coffee to discuss things further. very unfortunately, covid-19 has since entered in full force, rendering all social gatherings and events impossible. but i was lucky to have had a short, fruitful run as an amateur freelance photographer before then, and these are some lessons i want to remember:
1. take a chance on it (within reason)
my very first photoshoot happened in early february, and boy was it not someone’s birthday party or baby shower like i had been expecting. the brief was: “i need a really short photo session. 3-8 portrait photos for dating profile”.
as i sat there holding my phone, doubts raced through my mind. do people actually plan photoshoots to spice up their dating profiles? on a scale of it’s totally chill to is he a serial killer, how shady does this meet-up sound? but i had no way of verifying my client’s identity or legitimacy. all i had was a generic, ungoogleable name, and a whatsapp profile picture of his silhouette set against a mountainous landscape. i decided that he sounded decent enough through text. so i replied ‘sure!’, even adding a smiley emoji.
2. accept help when you need it, even though you hate feeling indebted to others
the night before said photoshoot, i happened to be up late trying to study for my astronomy module with my friend. finding the situation hilarious, i asked her: eh, guess what i’m doing tomorrow. what? she asked. i’m helping some random dude to take photos for his dating profile hahaha i have no idea what i’m doing with my life. to my surprise, she didn’t find it funny for long, and instead asked me if she could tag along to see what it was like. i warned her that i was an amateur who had never done a paid photoshoot like this in my life. are you sure that’s how you want to spend your saturday afternoon when you have so many other things to do? she assured me that it was all good and well in the name of exposure.
the following morning rolled around, and walking side by side on a not-too-deserted street, my friend and i tried to identify my client. he turned out to be a really chill and friendly guy – a russian working in a local firm, and training to be a DJ on the side. all he wanted had been some nice pictures for tinder in hopes of settling down soon, and so my wildest fears were allayed.
but they were soon replaced with a growing sense of awkwardness as he bombarded me with questions on how he should pose, expressions to make, where to stand, did he look okay. well, he looked kind of stiff and uncomfortable, to be honest. admittedly, i was more used to event coverage rather than posed photography, so i was having trouble directing his movement and holding a conversation while clicking the shutter at the same time.
which is why i was so grateful that my friend had come along. noticing his discomfort, she started chatting with him to help him feel more relaxed. this introduced some naturalness into his expressions and also allowed me to focus on composing the shots to help him look his best. as the hour progressed, the mood lifted, and we resolved together to capture all sorts of goofy, unconventional dating app photos. him standing in a tree, miming a business call in work attire on an exercise bike, reading a book about pregnancy with a grave expression.
when my friend and i said our goodbyes to him and left, we were somewhat stunned. the day could have gone any imaginable way, but we both concluded that it had been “fun”.
3. keep calm, you’ve got this – really.
in the short period of time that i photographed events, i was always surprised, and subsequently afraid, when people trusted me with key life milestones like weddings. i was just a clueless undergraduate in an uncertain economy, poking my toe into the water and wondering if i could do this for a living. so, weddings were truly a huge undertaking for me, guaranteeing internal breakdowns before/ during each shoot.
once, i was at the registry of marriage with a couple who had just exchanged their vows, and we were about to get some shots outside during golden hour. suddenly, i accidentally clicked on some settings and my captured images turned blue. this had never happened before. my heart pounded in my chest as i tried to reverse the settings to the original ones, but i had no idea what buttons i had pressed. i carried on clicking around in a panic, struggling to maintain a composed exterior, the whole time fearful of being exposed as some kind of fraud.
eventually i told myself: stop, breathe, think. i switched the camera to automatic mode. i might have switched it off and on again, or changed the battery – i can’t remember. but i told myself that i could solve this, and when one thing didn’t work, i tried another, until everything functioned properly again.
it can be terrifying to work in a situation where you have to deliver on command, when everyone is watching you work. but in the grand scheme of things, my mini freak-out probably lasted all but three minutes in an hours-long event. it’s more important to be adaptable, and not to be so caught up in your emotions that you miss the truly important moments. despite my agony, i don’t think the clients noticed anything amiss when they trudged outside in their blissful bridal company. they were pleased with their photos in the end, and so was i.
it took me a while, but i came to realise that taking on a job meant that i believed i could do their photos justice. deep down, i had confidence in my abilities, so now i just needed to manifest it with a cool-headed attitude.
–
what i appreciated most about this stint was that it gave me the opportunity to meet and interact with people from all walks of life. in a strange way, being a photographer feels simultaneously distant and close. you are both the stranger and “key component” at events; not knowing the subjects personally but seeing them through some of the most important and intimate moments of their lives. observing vows being exchanged, listening to unexpected life stories, forging new friendships.
it was a good run, and maybe once the world readjusts to a new normal, i will dust off my camera again.
Rambles 